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Profile: Mr Couch Potato

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Name: Mr Couch Potato


Last seen: 11-13-2015

Account type: Regular

Registration date: 08-28-2012

Posts: 26,853

Location: idk

About: idk

Hobbies: idk

Reputation: 188thumbs-up


The Official Set Whore Thread: *sunglass*

Previously known as

Intestines until 08-30-2012
Shiroyasha until 02-27-2013
The Berserker until 03-27-2013
Hot Baby Goku on Guts action until 03-28-2013
The Berserker until 04-13-2013
Star Platinum until 05-29-2013
Shiroyasha until 09-17-2013
Ozymandias until 01-04-2014
Jaxx until 01-11-2014
Young the Giant until 02-16-2014
Shito until 02-18-2014
Young the Giant. until 02-18-2014
Young the Giant until 09-06-2014
Shiro until 03-07-2015

03-18-2015 from Snap.
thumbs-up "The best kind of cock sucker"

03-15-2015 from Deus Ex Nihilo
thumbs-side "Kind of a cock sucker"

03-07-2015 from 40 acres
thumbs-up ""

03-07-2015 from Louay
thumbs-up ":)"

03-07-2015 from Ruthless
thumbs-up "Heyo to this nice sir, Mr couch potato just like her"

01-10-2015 from The Fantom Convoy
thumbs-up "186"

11-29-2014 from Negative Supremacy

10-29-2014 from Snap
thumbs-up "Just some original Pixiv art"

10-23-2014 from Nerise
thumbs-up "u cool"

10-12-2014 from Helios
thumbs-up "Secretely, though. ;)"

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jay visiting for a bit wrote: Either that or the girl the gave u head aint good at givin head lol.
I can do alot better (being 100% serious about this btw).
You just need the right amount of pressure and tension right inbetween the head and the shaft and the perfect time to “twist and pull and rub, etc." I aint even gonna get into detail

Zedkay101 wrote:

Guts wrote:

HayIias wrote: Raba = Man
Police officers = Death flags

Jay visiting for a bit wrote: I just remembered something.

Last night I dreamt about Sheko (not joking either) and he also had a full set of hair.
He was also shirtless and he was pretty ripped (although he isn’t really the “muscular type” in real life).

I don’t know where I was but I think I was at the bar with Sheko repeatedly staring at my eyes from across the room.
I was keep looking back at him and somehow I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him.
In my dream, he was really mesmerizing and he leaned against the walls, looked up at the ceiling, then slowly/dramatically looked at my eyes again and walked towards me.

Right after he was in front of me, he sat down next to me, drank a bottle of wine and started to stare at me some more.
Then after that, I woke up and I was covered in sweat.

This really happened in my dream and I’m like wtf? Why did I dreamt of Sheko?
It was the scariest thing I’ve ever seen lmfao.

Ladd Russo wrote:

Shiroyasha wrote:

Phantom wrote: Actually i mean Shirio, to hell with it.

Still lol.

Honey Nut Shirio’s ®

Cant Kill Death wrote: Boom, bitch.

Shoblongoo wrote: HONORABLE MENTION #1: This black guy who showed up in full Goku cosplay with a ghetto posse, acting mad nigga-ish, and started talking shit about how Vegeta ain’t from the hood.

Aoi Kunieda is a shit character wrote:

Ozymandias wrote:

Hilda is the one true Goddess wrote:

Ozymandias wrote:

Hilda is the one true Goddess wrote:

Ozymandias wrote:

Hilda is the one true Goddess wrote:

Ozymandias wrote:

Hilda is the one true Goddess wrote:

Ozymandias wrote:

Aoi Kunieda is a shit character wrote:

Ozymandias wrote: Hahahaha I got Esdese

Go fuck yourself.

Your tears fuel me, bitch nigga!

If I ever saw you in the streets......

You’d scream and run, I know.

LOL more like sneak up on you with some duck tape and chloroform.

Wtf bro...


Not that I’d rape you or anything...cuz you know, I wouldn’t.

You’d just spend some time in basement with the other kids.

See, nigga, I’m pretty sure you need just as much, if not more help than Snap.

Help? Well sure, I could use a hand disposing of the bodies.

Thats nice of you to offer shiro grin

I-I’m gonna walk away now...

>Thinks he can escape.

lol. Good luck with that bro.

Slayer wrote:

Omniwhatever wrote:

Slayer wrote:

The Butcher wrote: Braht ain’t that good Slayer.

Though the guy did make gay look manly/bad ass cool.

Oh he is that good.

He died for their sins.

I dare you to photoshop a picture of Braht’s head on Jesus now.

I did one, but it was too tragic. sad

So I guess this will do

Slayer wrote: So I’m walking to minute-mart one day to pick up some milk. It’s about 9:00, kind of cold; but that’s no biggie because I live right up the street.

Anyways, I walk in make a few racist insults to the Indian working the register. Walk over and open the freezer. And as I’m closing the door I see this reflection in the glass. This fine ass chick, probably like 16 or something in a school-uniform is a couple feet behind me looking at some chips. And there’s this odd sign floating above her head titled “Mary Sue”. So I put the milk back, thinking I could just milk her titties later and whispered to her. 

Me: “Hey, come here."

Mary Sue: “Ok. smiley"

Me: “You want to chill?"

Mary Sue: “Yeah, sure. Where?"

Me: “My crib."

Mary Sue: “Yeah ok(I got mad-game yo) smiley"

So I grab her ass and walk out the door knocking over some shelves and shit to piss off the Indians(hehe). Anyways, I take her car back to my house, doing donuts and shit, you know, the usual. And as I’m doing 360 kickflips and impossibles, I turn to her and ask.

Me: “Hey once I’m done with these pop-shove-it’s what are we going to do?"

Mary Sue: “Whatever you want. smiley"

Me: “Alright, cool."

So we get back to my house, she goes to the bathroom, and I get on MvC. Post in the Akame Ga Kill! thread telling everyone about how Mein casually solos verses and stuff. And all of a sudden I hear the bathroom door open and the light turn off. I turn around and see her sexy ass in a thong, and no bra. 

Mary Sue: “I’m off to bed nowww. Wake me up whenever. smiley"

Me: “I don’t care."

Mary Sue thoughts: “So cold. But so sexy(I got mad-game yo).

So I log-off MvC. Go to the bathroom to shave a few unwanted hairs, and then glue them together to make a fabulous afro and send them to Alabama to a man named Cid. 

Letter with the package: “Hell Cid, I heard you were a pretty big FF-VII fan eh? Well boy do I got something for you. This something used to be the property of Barret’s back when he was younger. Hope you enjoy! -Tetsuya Nomura”

After that fun stuff, I walk into my room and see Mary Sue snoring. Still sexy as fuck though. I slipped my dick down her throat and gagged her a little 'bit. Pretty funny stuff.

*Mary Sue clears her throat*

Mary Sue: “You’re finally awake. smiley"

Me: “Yup. So what’s up?"

Mary Sue: “Well babe, I have a quest-"

Me: “Yeah, I’ll go down on you."

Mary Sue: “How did you know what I was going to as-"

*I go dowwwwwwwwwwn*

Insert your favorite moaning Mary Sue sound here: _________

I couldn’t hear her because I was pretty stuffed up(remember I said it was cold? Well yeah faggots, should be self-explanatory), and sometimes when I get stuffed up it blocks off my ear. So you hentai-veterans can just geuss whatever sound she made.

Anyways I reach under my bed while eating her out and I grab an empty 1/5th of vodka. I then put it under my head and fill up over the next few weeks that ate her out(never stopped either, pretty cool month if you ask me). And as I filled up the first 1/5th, I would reach under my bed and grab more. Bottle after bottle. After I had enough, I finished up and sent her home(not after getting my milk BTW, but that’s a story for another time). 

I took a nap after, and then drove to my local book store. Walked in and read a few shitty books. Then I went to the manga section and picked up this one decent manga. I looked to my right, and geuss what I see, a dope ass Mary Sue. But I didn’t hit her with my mad game. I just bought the manga I picked up and left. 

Once I got back home I took the vodka bottles and tied them up. I added two of my own 1/5th’s to the bottle collection and put a nice little bow on them. And I taped a letter to them. Once that was done it was time to mail them! And I did.

-Now switching the story to a mud-hut in Brazil-

*Wolfenstein, his nerd friends and some ugly ass nerd girls sit in the mud-hut*

Ugly nerd girl #1: “How the fuck could you forget the alcohol? You’re about as smart as Luffy."

Ugly nerd girl #2: “Seriously, like, what the fuck? You’re a regular Orihime."

Ugly nerd Girl #3: “Like we would fuck your ugly asses without’re stupider than part-1 Naruto."

Wolfenstein: “I just forgot, ok? And no I’m Cloud, get it straight."

Wolfenstein’s nerd friends in unison: “And we’re AVALANCHE!"

*Brazillian mail-man walks in the hut*

Mail-man: “I have a package for a(thinks to himself: *that’s a pretty shitty game*)...Wolfenstein?

Wolfenstein: “Yeah, that’s me."

*Mail-man hands Wolfenstein the package*

*Wolfenstein being the weak bitch he is drops it*

Ugly nerd girl #2: “Haha, weak-ass faggot."

Wolfenstein: “I’m Cloud."

Ugly nerd girl #2: “Exactly."

Wolfenstein: “Whatever, fuck you."

*Wolfenstein opens the package and sees the 1/5th’s of vodka protected by styrofoam pellets so he takes them out in shock*

Ugly nerd girls: “Wow! What the hell?"

*they all get in their nerd formation and swarm over*

*takes bottles*

Wolfenstein: “Hey, maybe we should read the letter before we start drin-"

Ugly nerd girls: “Shut up bitch."

Wolfenstein: “It’s Cloud.."

*ugly nerd girls throw letter back in the box*

*They drink and party and do nerdy stuff*

-After drinking-

Wolfenstein: “Maybe I should read that letter now. Yeah, yeah...yeah let’s read that letter."

*looks in the package and gets the letter*

*opens up the letter*

“What’s up Wolfenstein? It’s Ranking from MvC! I hope you enjoy the bottles I sent you! Haha, throw a party or some shit!

PS: There’s a manga under the styrofoam if you didn’t get it, check it out, it’s quality shit!


Wolfenstein(slurring): “Wow, what bro. I mean just a bro."

*ugly nerd girl #2 steps out of the hut*

*Wolfenstein looks around and notices the box is gone*

Wolfenstein(slurring and stumbling out of the hut): Hey..hey give me that box."

*ugly nerd girl #2 hands him the box*

*Wolfenstein digs through the styrofoam and grabs the manga*

*manga is titled Mary Sue*

Wolfenstein(slurring): “Mary Sue..? What the- the fuck?"

*opens up manga and sees a note on the inside of the cover*

Note: “Open up to page 52."

*Wolfenstein gets to 52 after drunkenly ripping some pages(so lightweight)*

Page 52: 

                             HOW TO BECOME A MARY SUE
            To become a Mary Sue you must drink more than a standard sized cup or two of another Mary Sue’s pussy juice.

*Wolfenstein snaps out of his drunkeness* 

Wolfenstein’s thoughts: “Some of those drinks tasted funny..."

Wolfenstein: “WTF? No Ranking, please no, WTF?"

*Wolfenstein starts getting curves, black hair, and looks younger*

*continues reading*

Page 52:    

          In some cases the weak-faggots will not evolve into a new Mary Sue, they will simply become the Mary Sue that they drink from. Here are a list of the possible Mary Sue’s you could become, and the symptoms are for said Mary Sue:

*Wolfenstein continues reading looking for a certain character*

Blah blah blah
Blah blah blah
Blah blah blah 
Blah blah blah
Kurokami Medaka: One of the worst Mary Sue’s their is, Kurokami Medaka. Symptoms for this Mary Sue would be growth in curves, black hair, being a shitty person, and-"

*Wolfenstein closes book*

Wolfenstein: “Now why would they talk about me like that? Hmph, I’ll have them know-"

*new Mary Sue made from some nerd walks outside*

New Mary Sue: “Who cares what they say about you? You’re perfect and you know it."

*Wolfenstein walks back in the hut*

*looks into mirror*

*puts hand on her hip, shows some cleavage and smiles*

Kurokami Medaka: “You’re right I am perfect."


Sekundes wrote: So, over the last couple months I’ve been traveling a lot and all that shit. Been making the not so best kind of friends and more or less the wrong crowd. Originally I took this trip through the U.S to clear my head of a lot of shit that’s been going on.

I guess that’s good enough back story, but I guess I feel I should vent I guess since I think I’ll be gone for awhile. Might as well give you shit to read.

So first I took a trip up to Seattle and visited my uncle. Have not been there since 2010 so it was nice to be back there again since it was such an awesome trip before. I stayed there a couple weeks and met a couple people, got in to smoking weed again(it’s been 4 months or so)

Anyway, it got progressively bad after this. I left Seattle and I traveled over to Texas(Few cousins and some e-friends in this general area so I figured why not?) we partied every night. Shit was best few weeks. Getting high,drunk, and some nice looking ladies(don’t think I need to explain this)

I guess this is where things hit the fan pretty hard. My cousins are the kind of guys who are sort of “redneck” okay? So they are kind of racist. Not KKK racist but the kind of racist that will use those “facts and data” from online to prove black people are inferior and more dangerous than your good ol' white man. The reason this is important is because Nick(My cousin)'s 19 year old sister was dating this black guy, who basically got mad and punched her. Gave her a black eye and scared her shitless. She was too scared to call the police so she called her brother(well texted him whatever then there was a call).Keep in mind my Jessica(his sister) lives all the way in Cali so this is not exactly right next door. But Nick is the kind of guy who is the big brother who will do anything for his sister or family or whatever. He said the basic shit after explaining the story. He asks us if we want to go beat the shit out of him. We all eventually said okay,

So sort of like 7am ish this morning we get there and we go to his work at the gas station, and my cousins stupidly start shit(obvious camera) so they beat him up and even push a customer(who ended up calling the cops) So of course I ran too, we got in the car and booked it. I kept telling them we got to get some place else, the cops will be looking for us for sure. Sure enough at about 9:30 they find out we were at his sister’s. We book it on foot and since there is 4 of us we have a somewhat good chance of getting away from two cops, at least they can’t catch all of us at once.

I luckily slipped away a lot quicker because they chased my two cousins who the recognized who were doing the beat down at the gas station. I had no idea where either of them were, if they got caught, or whatever.

But I was going to keep it on the down low and stay out of the eye of any cops. I was pretty paranoid. But I end up by this gym with a good bit of cars parked in it’s lot. Perfect place to be unnoticed, in a crowd. But as I was walking in I hear some little kid yelling “this is moviecodec lounge” My first...gut reaction was “I better run in there and punch the shit out of that little kid” but then my subconscious told me “No Chibi no...If you do that, people will call the police and you’ll go to the slammer man." But he mentioned This site. I glanced over at the sign for the gym She co’s: Women’s Gym under the main part of the sign it said there was a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament and Bleach convention. That was odd...But then it hit me. I knew who this nigga was.

It turned out to be a stupid choice, but I ran in that gym and I found the kid in the yu-gi-oh t-shirt dressed as some generic bleach character and I punched him straight in the face, knocking him down. His jaw shattered under the force of my punch. I clenched my fist. Damn kid had a strong jaw.

But then I realized “Shit, this kid didn’t exactly stand out in the crowd. He looks like everyone else in this damn place." But then I noticed this kid smirking just about 20 ft away wearing a Chris Jericho shirt. There was no doubt...This was the asshole that was screaming out the name of a website I go to. He took a run for it, and I ran after him. And as angry parents ran after me for breaking some random kid’s jaw I knew I had to catch this kid and expose him as some kind of weirdo. That should make up for the kid I punched.

As he ran out the door, I ran out a couple seconds afterwards only to be greeted by the cops. I had no where to run. It was over. As dozens of angry parents piled on top of me, and the cops trying to get them off so they could arrest me I can only remember yelling “DON’T YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING!? GET THAT KID IN THE CHRIS JERICHO SHIRT! FUCKING NOW! DO IT!" the cops were very angry in their tone of voice as the parents told them what else I did. They answered “Son, there was no kid in a Chris Jericho shirt." I was shocked for a moment “BULL FUCKING SHIT. HE RAN OUT A COUPLE SECONDS BEFORE ME. YOU FUCKING SAW." I began to sob out of frustration “you fucking saw..." I said again, but I could tell by the weird looks they were giving me that they didn’t see anyone run out before me and that was the 'truth'.

I’m only able to type this now because in the struggle they didn’t take my phone. I’m in the back seat of this cop car now. Sending what is perhaps one of my last messages to this site. I can see it now. The cops... under their uniforms...Their wearing Chris Jericho t-shirts...

Ranking wrote: At least she to witness Mein’s glory.

She even got to play with Mein’s continent busting, mach-7000 pig-tails.

Zeroragetra wrote: It has come to my attention that a serious problem has arisen within our universe; several timelines have been corrupted by the menace known as “Just A Member”

This is a serious problem. It was because of this corruption that “Shiroyasha”'s computer broke, and he was forced to leave me!

Please, for the good of mankind, help us avert this tragedy

“What can I do to help?" you might be asking yourself. Well, you know what they say “Every time you rehabilitate a brony, you fix a timeline”. So, bronies of MvC, stop watching that shit

Clit Yeastwood wrote: Yes.

rage wrote: Another user of the derpforce?

I’ll have to notify the gypsies.

Ladd Russo wrote: I think EndofAllthings and Stardust would make a great couple.

rage wrote: DC: Ichigo flicks his wrist

Speed: Ichigo flicks his wrist

State of the union: Ichigo flicks his wrist.

Overall: Goku

Spaceman Brock wrote: No, but sometimes when I’m in the bathroom I pee on my leg cause it feels warm and relaxing and I’m actually serious about this.

Snap wrote: “Nonon-chan is crying loudly. I want to lick her."

I know that feel.

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