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The Pig-by Roald Dahl---- Must read

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[Reply] #1
08-05-2014 06:34 PM
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 1,753
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DJackalz
DJackalz
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Enjoy.


In England once there lived a big
And wonderfully clever pig.
To everybody it was plain
That Piggy had a massive brain.
He worked out sums inside his head,
There was no book he hadn’t read.
He knew what made an airplane fly,
He knew how engines worked and why.
He knew all this, but in the end
One question drove him round the bend:
He simply couldn’t puzzle out
What LIFE was really all about.
What was the reason for his birth?
Why was he placed upon this earth?
His giant brain went round and round.
Alas, no answer could be found.
Till suddenly one wondrous night.
All in a flash he saw the light.
He jumped up like a ballet dancer
And yelled, 'By gum, I’ve got the answer! '
'They want my bacon slice by slice
'To sell at a tremendous price!
'They want my tender juicy chops
'To put in all the butcher’s shops!
'They want my pork to make a roast
'And that’s the part’ll cost the most!
'They want my sausages in strings!
'They even want my chitterlings!
'The butcher’s shop! The carving knife!
'That is the reason for my life! '
Such thoughts as these are not designed
To give a pig great piece of mind.
Next morning, in comes Farmer Bland,
A pail of pigswill in his hand,
And piggy with a mighty roar,
Bashes the farmer to the floor…
Now comes the rather grisly bit
So let’s not make too much of it,
Except that you must understand
That Piggy did eat Farmer Bland,
He ate him up from head to toe,
Chewing the pieces nice and slow.
It took an hour to reach the feet,
Because there was so much to eat,
And when he finished, Pig, of course,
Felt absolutely no remorse.
Slowly he scratched his brainy head
And with a little smile he said,
'I had a fairly powerful hunch
'That he might have me for his lunch.
'And so, because I feared the worst,
'I thought I’d better eat him first.'


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[Reply] #2
08-05-2014 06:35 PM
Joined: 06-04-2013
Posts: 28,015
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Shinji Ikari
Shinji Ikari
I Am The Wind
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That was fucking amazing


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Zechs Marquise wrote: I’m much more composed than you are right now. If one makes a decision with a cool head, he won’t find himself regretting that decision later on.

[Reply] #3
08-05-2014 06:36 PM
Joined: 06-04-2013
Posts: 28,015
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Shinji Ikari
Shinji Ikari
I Am The Wind
Rep: 212

btw why is the name Roald Dahl so familiar?


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Zechs Marquise wrote: I’m much more composed than you are right now. If one makes a decision with a cool head, he won’t find himself regretting that decision later on.

[Reply] #4
08-05-2014 06:37 PM
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 1,753
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DJackalz
DJackalz
UBER 1337 Poster
Rep: 37

Shinji Ikari wrote: btw why is the name Roald Dahl so familiar?



I dunno. He is famous for his literary works tho.


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[Reply] #5
08-05-2014 06:38 PM
Joined: 09-10-2012
Posts: 77,118
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Izayoi
Izayoi
~Prince Swordsman~
Rep: 207

Shinji Ikari wrote: btw why is the name Roald Dahl so familiar?

Famous modern-ish poet.


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