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John Dies At The End

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[Reply] #1
01-13-2008 05:47 PM
Joined: 04-01-2007
Posts: 12,808
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fuckyfuckerfuckingmcfuckfuck69
No
Rep: 26

http://www.johndiesattheend.com

Remeber the guy who wrote the 10 things atheists and theists must agree on? He also wrote this wicked funny internet novel.



Selection:
The first thing that was strange was when they cut to the two-shot of Danny Wexler and the anchor, Dannyís face was black. I saw immediately why Krissy thought he was wearing a mask when she first saw him. At first glance it did look like he had on a black ski mask, one without the eye holes, look a second longer and you might think he had painted his entire head black. And when they cut to the closer one-shot of his head, you could see that Danny Wexler appeared to be a statue carved from solid shadow. Only John and I saw this, of course, because the other anchors didnít react in horror. Or at least, not until Danny Wexler opened his mouth:

ďIím Danny Wexler and this is Channel 5 sports! The (undisclosed) football team has been raped in the ass by fate once again, booted from the first round of the playoffs as they failed to carry their inflatable turd past a chalk line in the grass as often as their opponents did. Hereís Hornets quarterback Mikey Wolford, flopping that right arm around like a retard while he tries to pass to a teammate that apparently only he can see. Aaaaand, itís intercepted. Nice pass, Ďtard! Now hereís Spartans fullback Derrick Simpson, pumping those nigger thighs down the field like pistons on a machine designed for cotton picking. Ooh, nice tackle attempt there, Freddy Mason! You run like youíre taking it up the ass. I bet you could tackle that fullback if he was made of dick, couldnít you, Freddy? But, heís not, so final score, 41-17. May every Spartan die with a turd on his lips. All hail Korrok.Ē

Danny didnít get to read any more highlights, as the newscast abruptly switched back to a visibly shaken anchor woman, who announced they would be right back. Commercial.


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[Reply] #2
01-14-2008 03:25 AM
sairo89
Guest

that shit is funny

[Reply] #3
01-15-2008 07:35 PM
Joined: 04-01-2007
Posts: 12,808
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fuckyfuckerfuckingmcfuckfuck69
No
Rep: 26

bump


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[Reply] #4
01-16-2008 05:07 PM
Joined: 04-01-2007
Posts: 12,808
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fuckyfuckerfuckingmcfuckfuck69
No
Rep: 26

babump bump.


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[Reply] #5
02-11-2008 07:24 PM
Joined: 04-01-2007
Posts: 12,808
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fuckyfuckerfuckingmcfuckfuck69
No
Rep: 26

Bumper.


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[Reply] #6
02-11-2008 08:15 PM
Joined: 10-01-2007
Posts: 6,642
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Sqeel
Sqeel
Don't be a n00b
Rep: 31

Stop bumping!


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[Reply] #7
02-11-2008 08:16 PM
Joined: 04-01-2007
Posts: 12,808
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fuckyfuckerfuckingmcfuckfuck69
No
Rep: 26

Just read the fucker.


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[Reply] #8
02-29-2008 02:37 PM
Joined: 04-01-2007
Posts: 12,808
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fuckyfuckerfuckingmcfuckfuck69
No
Rep: 26

Fuck you all.


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[Reply] #9
03-27-2008 06:50 PM
Joined: 02-11-2008
Posts: 63
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Mallory
Wannabe
Rep: 2

I’m about halfway through and it’s full of own.


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This is NG4L, name change lul.

[Reply] #10
03-31-2008 03:12 PM
Joined: 03-30-2008
Posts: 533
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Inno A Satana
Regular
Rep: 10

bump.


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